They are all MORONS!!!

I only write in this because I Love my Mother....

Bless her heart, she puts up with the bastard. Retarded as it sounds. She says she loves him. I wish I was born of a turnip, instead of that freak.

Mother, this is the goofy journal you want me to keep of my time at school. I'm not sure why... but.. well.. I love you.. so.. here it is..

Headmaster... what a freak. Changing ages like turning his socks inside out. He thinks it keeps the students on their toes... but they seem more at odds by it.. Moronic students- just think its a neat trick. I say its because he can't control himself. Moron.

These other two freaks, one a human, the other a tree hugging elf... They're real winners. Neither thinking things through....

The human, as the natural to all those who are morons, acts, then thinks. To save her happy Butt- I had to knock her out. Had I not, then she would have died. All because they would not listen to my advice. Moron.

The elf seems to have a bit of a moral delimma. It seems that he is trying so hard to be empathic, and failing. He wonders if its ok to kill things with feelings. I think he might be an elf.. or maybe a vegetarian... not much difference... They're both Morons...

Now that you have met the cast of players in this stupid occurance, let me tell you what has happened in this wonderful place that the Bastard has sent me.

I get up with plenty of time to get to the headmasters office. I set the alarm clock specifically 12 minutes PAST the time to be there. What do you know.. DING!!! wide awake an hour before... SHIT...

So I decide to take a walk...... I wonder around campus for a while... I take in the sites... 3 minutes before the meeting... I suddenly realize Im right outside the headmasters offices... DAMN... I deliberately WALK AWAY... I go to the ranged weapons practice area.

5 minutes later... im teleported right into the headmasters office. F**K!!! and there is some kid in the headmasters chair. I figure... if theres some kid there..then it must be the headmasters child... and well.. i'll play along. So I treat him like he's the headmaster. I argue with him.

I notice that there are three others in the room. Some little gurgley guy... scared of anything larger than a pea. And the two morons that get stuck with me on this "adventure".

We're told to go to the Kitchen, and report to the head cook. It seems they have a problem there. When we get there, I find that I was right, The problem was the food. Horrible thing. MOTHER THEY FEED US SWILL!!!! Its the sort of stuff that Kurtlemak and Blibdoolpoolp would love to roll in!!!

The head cook, whom I have come to respect... she's not as big of a moron, said we were to take care of the "Rat Problem" in the basement. I know how to do this!!!! I immediately set about to nail the door shut. If the rats can not get upstairs, then there is no problem. All live in peace and harmony.

Now the elven moron speaks. "They need to get to the storage down there." Ok... so it wasnt a bad thing to say... So I gave in... We'll pour boiling oil down the stairs. This would convince the rats that they wanted to live in another area, preferable without boiling oil to walk in, AND it would begin the process of waxing the floors. Fixing a rodent problem and beautification in one job. We should get extra credit for this!!!

Nope, would have no part of that one. Morons.

So...I figure if they are bound and determined to do this the hard way, then I wont stop them. But I dont have to help them either. I waited at the top of the stairs until they were done. The bastard always said "Work Smarter, not Harder" Made sense.. but dont tell him. He's a bastard, It would go to his head...

So..... They are down there for a while, and suddenly, they come running up the stairs. The bastard tought me a very important lesson that applied to this situation. When something comes at you at a high rate of speed, MOVE. I stepped back into the kitchen...and when the two morons came out, I closed the door. THEN I asked questions.

It seems that the cook was not telling all. Bitch. The rat problem was a big rat problem. Meaning that the rat problem was 5 foot tall. Twice my height. When the human killed one of his babies, he seemed to take an instant dislike to the human. So they left. Now is where the elf begins her moral delimma. Which lasts well into the night... he's probably still awake now trying to figure it out. Vegetarian moron.

The cook seems to believe that we have to solve the problem. I enter the basement, and try to talk to the Rat... he's got none of this... still wants to hurt/maim/kill the human. To save the humans life, I knock her out. TEEHEE...was a GREAT shot too... Over the shoulder of Rat Man, and right on the forehead. Just enough to knock her out. It was a great shot... To bad Rat Man decided to bury the dead body.

I had to save the stupid human. She was knocked out, and the elf was in a moral crisis. All the elf could do was hold the torch so that I coudl hit the Rat Man. Confused Moron. I got it though. He went down, just like you told me. Kick a man in the nuts, and they are down. Works on rats too. Thank you for that advice Mom...

I report back to the cook. Shit, there's TWO??? Back to the basement. The morons (even they have good luck at times) have found Rat Mamma. The elf, in the moral delimma, thinks to wake the sleeping rodent. The Human... who has woken up, disappears. Oh well, I get out a nail, and drive it into Rat Mamma's skull. She died in her sleep.

We clean up the rest of the mice. Which ended up being the Elf and I, as the human started rummaging around in crates, I knocker her out again. Useless Moron.

Well, that was my day. Full of Morons.

I trust that your day was better. Had to be... the King is not a moron......


Jenjol RibbonStinger
Rat Squashing Student